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Hello
To be clear…a tough conversation is any discussion where the topic is difficult, uncomfortable, or emotionally charged. It involves addressing sensitive issues like giving feedback, resolving conflicts, or delivering disappointing news.
Many of us view these interactions as confrontational or risky.
Fear of conflict, fear of being misunderstood, or even fear of not
But what’s REALLY getting in the way is our mindset—our tendency to focus on the difficulty rather than the opportunity.
And when we focus on the difficulty rather than the opportunity, it adds to our problems!!
People struggle with different challenges around tough conversations, and these struggles often reflect their unique personalities, values, and mindsets
Let’s take two examples:
The situation causes some people to enter into these conversations like they would a battle…in defensive mode. They may not even realize it but their focus is on trying to ‘win’ instead of being empathetic and curious.
At the back of it, these people are worried about how this conversation will impact them and their status. They don’t want to look weak or vulnerable.
The other issue I see is people entering into these conversations with overly empathic thinking. It’s not about their ego, they are not actually trying to ‘win’ and don’t resort to defensiveness, but they still worry about hurting the other person, damaging their relationships or not being able to resolve the issue.
In both cases, the issues stems back to mindset- and focusing on the difficulty rather than the opportunity.
The person may not like what you say, or agree with it… and that’s ok. Not everyone will walk away from the conversation feeling positive. We have to make peace with that and give them time to process the conversation.
Your aim isn’t to make bad news feel ‘good’ but it IS to show your commitment to their growth, deepen your relationship with them, and focus on their long-term success.
Follow the steps outlined below to improve how you perceive and manage “tough conversations”
hashtagtoughconversations hashtagleadership hashtagleadershipskills hashtagleadershipdevelopment hashtagcommunicationskills
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Communications is the no 1 skill in business.
Here’s how you become a top 0.1% communicator.
That’s because:
We spend 88% of our work time communicating (Harris 2024)
We work in complex, global, diverse, hybrid environments
The more AI takes over, the more your own unique voices matter.
Those who master communications get the deal, the promotion, the funding for their startup.
Fortunately, great communicators are made, not born.
And we now have a deep understanding of how to acquire any skill.
We need to:
See
Do
Get feedback
Having coached over 500 leaders, what I noticed is this:
90% never or rarely practiced their leadership communications. They have close to zero iterations when I meet them.
9% watch videos, webinars or courses. They get better, but not by much, because they only “see” but don’t “do” or “get feedback”. It’s like trying to learn tennis by watching others play.
1% “See & Do”. They actively practice to get the reps in.
0.1% “See, Do & Seek Feedback”. They practice, record themselves and seek feedback from a coach, community or support network.
Given that 99% make little effort to master the no 1 skill in business, it doesn’t take much to join the top 1%.
Even the 0.1% is entirely doable if you “See, Do & Seek Feedback”.
PS: That’s why we created the Speak Like a CEO Academy.
Just put “Yes” in the comments and I will share how you join the ranks of top 1% communicators before the year is over.